Monday, May 31, 2010

Get Her to Get her

The Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

As I have gotten older, I have realized that there are things you can build up to in order to get what you want in life. Same goes for men getting the girl they want. When I was younger, I was impressionable and a guy could do pretty much anything even semi-charming to "get me". Now that I have matured, I have come to terms of what I do deserve which makes it more difficult to please me. I think the same goes for other women in my position--- at least it should.

Having been completely single for some time now has given me time to really observe certain situations in relationships. One thing I have realized is how much men don't realize what they could be doing to kill their chance with certain women. At this point in my life, there is a lot at stake for me when picking the wrong guy and I realize that so I try to be a lot smarter in the choices I make. That means from Day 1, I am analyzing the exchange between myself and the potential guy I am talking to. Like I said , I didn't used to do that, I used to be more lighthearted and easier to please which caused me to miss things even from the first day. I feel a lot of women do this which is why men are the way they are too.

In this process of being single but also open to getting to know what different men are all about, I have also witnessed what guys do that really wouldn't push me to date them even if I might pick up their call the next day to chat. Which I wonder are the same things that would cause other women not to go out with a guy, especially if they are keeping their options open.

Those things are so small but actually a big deal going forward because now that I have lived long enough I realize small things tell a lot about the person's personality which may not match with me in the long run. Doesn't mean you are horrible potential for someone else that is a lot easier going but it is something to keep in mind. So finally, here goes the small things I have decided to keep a running list of:

If you are interested in a woman you may want to:

  • Call or text her daily (or do a variation of) - Sometimes it's nice to let her know even you are thinking of her even if it's "Hi! How are you doing?". Any girl who says she doesn't like it, means she is really not that into you, not ready for a commitment, or just says that to seem cool. Note: If she doesn't exchange conversation with you or is short with you please stop doing this immediately.

  • Call or text after she leaves you from an evening together - If it's late and she is being sent home or decides to go home (even if you are just friends at this point) it's nice to know that you care that she made it home okay. Men fail to do this quite often, so this definitely will make you stand out from all other men she might be talking to.

  • Pick her up - This is so old fashioned I know but the point of this is women love it when you come to them. Forget all the women that say they don't mind coming to you, they are just trying to be cool again. What a beautiful thought to see a man even just offer to pick a woman up for a date. That's why they display that kind of romance in the movies (duh). I mean when a guy says to me "Let me come to your house and visit. How about I pick you up and we go out on your side of town." is the most attractive thing especially since I live in Siberia compared to everyone else.

  • Now that you have read my top three things I think you get the picture. Those three things are small things but a big deal that a lot of men don't do. I could list more but if this article becomes popular, I will Vblog a continuation of this.

    There is also one thing I will mention guys that you could do to ruin a future relationship with a girl. And ladies listen up, when a guy does this and you accept it I promise you he will never take you seriously. So read closely:

  • Refrain from getting too sexual with her - This includes sex talk and pictures. You can flirt but once you start talking about what you can do or would do to her--- I have found that the respect is out the window and it drives your relationship or potential relationship into another direction unless you have been together for quite some time and have already had sex. I love it when a guy is just really interested in me especially in the beginning and not my body. Women already know you think with your other head quite often so that doesn't need to be confirmed until both parties are ready for that kind of intimacy.

  • In closing, I have to say that most guys don't do this because us girls accept you not doing this. Some of us don't know any better due to lack of experience. Some of us are hopeless romantics and take you for all the other great qualities. But courting (which is almost non existent these days) is the most important thing to a woman especially if she is dating and has choices. If you are not the only person she is talking to and you don't do things such as what I listed, you will not stand out for her to even chose you over the others. You could miss out on a really great lady.

    All Content © 2010 Marika Dye
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