Thursday, February 12, 2009

Cheaters are not bad people?

Maybe they just did something bad?
BoldToday, I watched the Oprah Show on Why Men Cheat. Oprah had M. Gary Neuman talking about his book discussing the reason he has gathered men cheat. What a better person to tell you than a guy right? Half of the time I don’t think most men know why they cheat. For those of you that do have reasons, good for you. My opinion is that there really isn’t a reason to cheat on someone. And there is nothing you can say to make it better or make your partner "excuse it".

I can’t imagine telling someone I love them and then turn around and share myself with someone else. There are some women that can do this but I am not one of those that can do that because I attach sex to emotion and love. Mr. Neuman suggests that men typically don’t though men are emotional creatures. They just don't vocalize it. As much as I have been told that it’s wrong to attach sex to that, in this case especially when you are married I think it’s a good idea to attach sex to the same things I mentioned above.

Now, the reason I was prompted to write this is because Mr. Neuman suggested that not is not fair to say that cheaters are necessarily jerks or bad people. Hmmmm….let me sit on that comment for one second. Cheaters are not bad people! I am pretty much a pro at this as I have been cheated on, I have seen my friends cheated on and my mother has been cheated on. Cheating is malicious and destructive. If cheaters are not bad people then I think it would be fair to at least say that cheaters are self-serving people. They do not think of the destruction it causes whether you can possibly pass an STD on to your partner, break up a family, or even put your partner’s life in jeopardy. Someone that has the capability to do all of those things does not sound like a good person to me. Good people generally care about other people. People who care about their partner should also care about their partner’s feelings, and health. Cheating is no joke! If you are cheating on someone you profess to love you’d better wake up and realize what you are doing and what this really means. Does it mean you are insecure? Does it mean you are needy? Does it mean you crave attention? Does it mean you have issues you have yet to resolve? Or does it mean you are just flat out a horrible person?

I’d like to say the latter, because I have issues, I get insecure, and I even sometimes get needy, but that does not mean if I am committed to you I will stray because of those factors. That’s not the answer to my problem. I also know better than to take my problem and then make it yours especially in such a hurtful way. So if I know that, what is up with all the other people? Are some of us programmed to be this uncontrolled and insensible? It’s something to think about for sure!

What we don’t realize is that we get into relationships (myself including) with people that have issues that causes them to disconnect enabling them to be able to cheat that has NOTHING to do with us. Unfortunately we get hurt in the process. This is why it’s really important to KNOW your partner.

For reading my article I am sending you the link to Mr. Neuman’s free downloadable book: It’s really good!

© Marika Bree. All Rights Reserved.
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