The Pre-Date Killer

"Whipped Cream and Chocolate?"

Recently, I was considering going out on a date with someone. This one actually seemed like a "nice guy". I am beginning to think that I have this sign (that only guys can see) that says "Bad boys in disguise welcome." Anyways, well the date was put to a hold along with any communication because he did something before even going on the date that he shouldn't have. It's a shame because this guy has been pursuing me since the beginning of this year. I still think he could be a nice guy but perhaps not what I am looking for anymore. I am not going to sit here and play like I am an innocent little girl that doesn't do anything wrong or anything close to a prude. What I will say is that I am a lady and I deserve to be treated as such. And tho at this moment I am absolutely drained when it comes to men sometimes I think it's nice to have a sincere man to talk to now and again. I still believe there are good men out there and just some of the ones I chose happened to treat me like a rag doll because it's either what they do or something I put out there. Which brings me to what I feel can be the a huge pre-date killer.

Now read this carefully...

It doesn't matter if you are drunk or delirious from lack of sleep, it is not appropriate to tell a girl what you would like to do with her or how good you are before you even went on a date. Most of us don't care to know and will find it a turn off. It just gives us the perception that you just want us for sex. We already know it's probably on your mind before the date but to validate it will just make us think about it on the date which is very uncomfortable, to say the least.

So think about that the next time you ask a woman you really like out on a date. If the chemistry is there after the date then maybe you can bring up whipped cream and chocolate then, otherwise keep it to yourself because it's not amusing or classy.

Stay tuned for more pre-date killers... that even I actually have been guilty of. I have friends working on my relationship site so you never know next time you see me I might be on my own official site.

Thanks for reading!



was w/out tv, phone (barely), internet and a computer all day yesterday. It was HORRIBLE! TIP: Back up ur data to the RITE place. I didn't!

"Just because people are not saying anything doesn't mean they aren't watching. On the contrary, most people won't choose both." inspired

The Empowerment of Knowing Why Things Happen For a Reason

And What You Have Done Good or Bad Has a Purpose

Yesterday, I wrote a pretty negative note tho some of you wrote me and felt it hit home. That is not who I strive to be though. It took me talking to my coach Troy Byer to ultimately get me out of that negativity. I have to thank her for that. In our talk, she helped me realize the very thing that the topic of this note states. This past week has been a whirlwind for me. Without going into details, I did some things that I felt were out of character for me. Now, I am back in GA--- back to the real me which feels great. Looking back on what I did now after talking it out I realize there was a lot of value in what happened. It's much better to look at life experiences that way than the way I was for the past couple days. I know what I don't like, do like, who I want to be and who I don't want to be. I also know what I won't do ever again.

I can now help other people when they even give what I did a second thought. First thing is, I realize I need to create calculated breaks for myself when I get burned out with all that do instead of spontaneous getaways substituted as a break. Sometimes we meet someone that we really need at that moment to help us get over something we probably couldn't in years. In other words, I realize that certain people are truly brought together for a reason at times. I understand how using the word no is so valuable and how destructive it can be if you allow yourself to be afraid to use it. I realize I am a strong woman that can deal with maybe more than many in this world especially being blessed having such amazingly loving people in my life. I realize I have a purpose for others within myself and my own daunting experiences. I realize people look up to me and I need to honor that privilege. I realize what is most important is that I don't have to be perfect because I am a human being. In my experiences, I can't judge but only love myself and others even in the existent imperfections. I realize this recent experience could potentially protect me from something incredibly destructive down the road. This experience is most importantly bringing me closer to God. I realize He is the only one that can really hold me close and protect me-- I just have to allow him to do so. But even in times I don't he still works hard to do so. That's beautiful.

I have found out so much about myself that I don't want to get too much into detail-- but know today it's beautiful things not bad. I can't dwell on my unfavorable thoughts and thanks to friends and family I can stand strong on that. God gave me these gifts and I really have to be grateful for that. After I wrote the note I did last night, I received uplifting emails from good people, good friends that I love. And even phone calls. I didn't know that people cared that much-- thank you. You didn't even ask to know any details you just wanted to know I was okay. I am okay, I will be okay and I have all the support and love I need not to be. This just proves that I have to continue my journey on loving myself and understanding that I will mess up sometimes but that doesn't make me a bad person. It's makes what we all are--- HUMAN.

"There truly is a reason for everything that happens in our lives, it's our responsibility to figure it out and embrace it."

With Love,

Marika

"You want people in your life that compliment and support you, not ones that are out to fix you because ultimately only you can fix you."

"I focus on controlling myself instead of others around me b/c I know that is impossible & the only way to get what I want & need in life."