believes that everything u want in life is in an abundance, the issue is our programmed thinking that it isn't, so then it isn't. illusions perception

It's such a beautiful thing when u spend time w/someone that shows u how much they care about u instead of simply telling u. tlc

Get Her to Get her

The Little Things Can Make a Big Difference

As I have gotten older, I have realized that there are things you can build up to in order to get what you want in life. Same goes for men getting the girl they want. When I was younger, I was impressionable and a guy could do pretty much anything even semi-charming to "get me". Now that I have matured, I have come to terms of what I do deserve which makes it more difficult to please me. I think the same goes for other women in my position--- at least it should.

Having been completely single for some time now has given me time to really observe certain situations in relationships. One thing I have realized is how much men don't realize what they could be doing to kill their chance with certain women. At this point in my life, there is a lot at stake for me when picking the wrong guy and I realize that so I try to be a lot smarter in the choices I make. That means from Day 1, I am analyzing the exchange between myself and the potential guy I am talking to. Like I said , I didn't used to do that, I used to be more lighthearted and easier to please which caused me to miss things even from the first day. I feel a lot of women do this which is why men are the way they are too.

In this process of being single but also open to getting to know what different men are all about, I have also witnessed what guys do that really wouldn't push me to date them even if I might pick up their call the next day to chat. Which I wonder are the same things that would cause other women not to go out with a guy, especially if they are keeping their options open.

Those things are so small but actually a big deal going forward because now that I have lived long enough I realize small things tell a lot about the person's personality which may not match with me in the long run. Doesn't mean you are horrible potential for someone else that is a lot easier going but it is something to keep in mind. So finally, here goes the small things I have decided to keep a running list of:

If you are interested in a woman you may want to:

Call or text her daily (or do a variation of) - Sometimes it's nice to let her know even you are thinking of her even if it's "Hi! How are you doing?". Any girl who says she doesn't like it, means she is really not that into you, not ready for a commitment, or just says that to seem cool. Note: If she doesn't exchange conversation with you or is short with you please stop doing this immediately.

Call or text after she leaves you from an evening together - If it's late and she is being sent home or decides to go home (even if you are just friends at this point) it's nice to know that you care that she made it home okay. Men fail to do this quite often, so this definitely will make you stand out from all other men she might be talking to.

Pick her up - This is so old fashioned I know but the point of this is women love it when you come to them. Forget all the women that say they don't mind coming to you, they are just trying to be cool again. What a beautiful thought to see a man even just offer to pick a woman up for a date. That's why they display that kind of romance in the movies (duh). I mean when a guy says to me "Let me come to your house and visit. How about I pick you up and we go out on your side of town." is the most attractive thing especially since I live in Siberia compared to everyone else.

Now that you have read my top three things I think you get the picture. Those three things are small things but a big deal that a lot of men don't do. I could list more but if this article becomes popular, I will Vblog a continuation of this.

There is also one thing I will mention guys that you could do to ruin a future relationship with a girl. And ladies listen up, when a guy does this and you accept it I promise you he will never take you seriously. So read closely:

Refrain from getting too sexual with her - This includes sex talk and pictures. You can flirt but once you start talking about what you can do or would do to her--- I have found that the respect is out the window and it drives your relationship or potential relationship into another direction unless you have been together for quite some time and have already had sex. I love it when a guy is just really interested in me especially in the beginning and not my body. Women already know you think with your other head quite often so that doesn't need to be confirmed until both parties are ready for that kind of intimacy.

In closing, I have to say that most guys don't do this because us girls accept you not doing this. Some of us don't know any better due to lack of experience. Some of us are hopeless romantics and take you for all the other great qualities. But courting (which is almost non existent these days) is the most important thing to a woman especially if she is dating and has choices. If you are not the only person she is talking to and you don't do things such as what I listed, you will not stand out for her to even chose you over the others. You could miss out on a really great lady.

All Content © 2010 Marika Dye

Human Imperfection

"Don't get misguided. I am no angel, nor do I claim to be. I have done things wrong, and I have done things right. My pure intentions are always to do things right, but I also have unpure thoughts caused by my ego that sometimes does unfavorable things. The good news is that my intentions are never to be malicious. I am okay with this because I understand this is a part of being a human being."

"Knowing my past is to know who I was... knowing my present is to know who I am, but knowing my future is to know who I will become."

posted a new blog @ http://ping.fm/4t7d3 about relationships. Check it out!

How to Make the Most Secure Insecure

It's Possible, Promise!


I know you are wondering "Why would I want to learn how to do that?" Well, I thought if I can tell you how you can do it, maybe most of you reading this will do the oposite and learn something--- like how not to do it. I have had a clear mind to really get this done to a science since I have been single for quite some time. Observing what people do other people instead of myself has been very educational for me.

I realize that for the most part, men and women are secure in a relationship until there is an event that happens that causes them to flip to the other side. Mind you, I am generally speaking; there are situations where people go into a relationship insecure due to past situations. For the ones that leave their baggage behind, there are still ways to cause a person to feel insecure about the relationship. I find that reaction to be quite natural. That insecurity sometimes is your intuition talking.

Before I go into how to do it, I have to first say that the one thing that is very important in a relationship is trust. Trust is like the glue that holds a relationship together. Once that is gone--- your relationship is gone even if you decide to hold on. There are many ways other than outright lying or cheating that can cause a person to lose trust in their mate or significant other. That's the simplistic way to thinking but in these days most of us have become creative.

The second thing I want to say that if you become insecure-it's probably because your mate is insecure. Misery loves company. If you hang with that company sometimes you become it-or the other person will do things to ensure that you do just that. So I know you are dying to know what these innovative things are that we can do to make another person insecure.

Picture this:

In the beginning, you decided you were so excited about the new person you were dating that you wanted to talk to them every day. Then, without explaination you decided to call every other day and then maybe three times a day… and then so on. Think about if the other person did that. Wouldn't that make anyone suspicious? Now, for you the reason the days got less and less is because your girlfriend/boyfriend fussed about it and made it an issue which made you feel less for them and now you want space all of a sudden. But who brought this kind of drama on? YOU. Why? All because you were inconsistent. As, humans we are creatures of habit. That is something to stay mindful of always while dealing with anyone really. This actually seems to be the most classic case.

Here's another scenario:

You pretty much live together, and you decide you want to go out a lot and hang with the boys/girls. However, you never had quite an interest in that before. Maybe you feel crowded, maybe you need some space, maybe you are just plain bored, who knows. But when you go out, you may drink a little or maybe even a lot, do some things (not necessarily cheating) that your girl or guy may not like so you decide not to say anything. I mean what he or she doesn't know doesn't hurt them right? Wrong. Keep in mind the world is small and so is the city you live in. With that said, your girl/guy hears something and questions you. Now you are in a situation to explain but the way you explain even to you sounds like a sac ah (fill in the blank), but you keep going. Now you look like a liar. Now every time your mate sees you go out he or she is now having an issue with it. Why? Just because of that one incident you wish your mate would forget about. The reality is, no matter what you do, they will not forget. Now, your relationship is strained. You want to go out, and they don't want you to. Now vent to your boys/girls about how controlling and insecure they are when you are the person that caused it in the first place.

In both of these scenarios, the person could have had the best intentions and not even realized what they were doing to the other person. The two things, I realize that has be included in a relationship is "consistancy" and "consideration". Always remember the two c's. The other "c" that was lacking in both stories is that the person failed to "communicate". IF for some reason you lack the two other c's the least you can do is not lack the other "c" which is "communication". Lack all three and the relationship might as well be over.

And for the person that starts feeling insecure, it might be something for you to look into. Because I have been single for a while now, I truly truly can say that there is no reason to stay in a relationship that you are not happy in. The saying "You can do bad by yourself." is the truth. And the bad yourself is not as bad as the bad with someone else that is not treating you the way you deserve and they even know you deserve. That person can easily become a small guppie in a huge pool of water. And why "work on" a relationship before you even get married-in most cases you will have to "work on" the marriage probably several times throughout the years if you last a long time. I am no stranger to knowing how hard relationships are but I now believe that they don't have to be that hard before you get married. I think it really should be probational time.

In conclusion, if you are complaining about your mate being insecure try looking at what you might be doing to them to make them react in that manner. Warning though, it will take much maturity and hummility to even do this. If you lack that, then maybe you should try being single like me for a while. *wink*

All Content © 2010 Marika Dye