was w/out tv, phone (barely), internet and a computer all day yesterday. It was HORRIBLE! TIP: Back up ur data to the RITE place. I didn't!

"Just because people are not saying anything doesn't mean they aren't watching. On the contrary, most people won't choose both." inspired

The Empowerment of Knowing Why Things Happen For a Reason

And What You Have Done Good or Bad Has a Purpose

Yesterday, I wrote a pretty negative note tho some of you wrote me and felt it hit home. That is not who I strive to be though. It took me talking to my coach Troy Byer to ultimately get me out of that negativity. I have to thank her for that. In our talk, she helped me realize the very thing that the topic of this note states. This past week has been a whirlwind for me. Without going into details, I did some things that I felt were out of character for me. Now, I am back in GA--- back to the real me which feels great. Looking back on what I did now after talking it out I realize there was a lot of value in what happened. It's much better to look at life experiences that way than the way I was for the past couple days. I know what I don't like, do like, who I want to be and who I don't want to be. I also know what I won't do ever again.

I can now help other people when they even give what I did a second thought. First thing is, I realize I need to create calculated breaks for myself when I get burned out with all that do instead of spontaneous getaways substituted as a break. Sometimes we meet someone that we really need at that moment to help us get over something we probably couldn't in years. In other words, I realize that certain people are truly brought together for a reason at times. I understand how using the word no is so valuable and how destructive it can be if you allow yourself to be afraid to use it. I realize I am a strong woman that can deal with maybe more than many in this world especially being blessed having such amazingly loving people in my life. I realize I have a purpose for others within myself and my own daunting experiences. I realize people look up to me and I need to honor that privilege. I realize what is most important is that I don't have to be perfect because I am a human being. In my experiences, I can't judge but only love myself and others even in the existent imperfections. I realize this recent experience could potentially protect me from something incredibly destructive down the road. This experience is most importantly bringing me closer to God. I realize He is the only one that can really hold me close and protect me-- I just have to allow him to do so. But even in times I don't he still works hard to do so. That's beautiful.

I have found out so much about myself that I don't want to get too much into detail-- but know today it's beautiful things not bad. I can't dwell on my unfavorable thoughts and thanks to friends and family I can stand strong on that. God gave me these gifts and I really have to be grateful for that. After I wrote the note I did last night, I received uplifting emails from good people, good friends that I love. And even phone calls. I didn't know that people cared that much-- thank you. You didn't even ask to know any details you just wanted to know I was okay. I am okay, I will be okay and I have all the support and love I need not to be. This just proves that I have to continue my journey on loving myself and understanding that I will mess up sometimes but that doesn't make me a bad person. It's makes what we all are--- HUMAN.

"There truly is a reason for everything that happens in our lives, it's our responsibility to figure it out and embrace it."

With Love,

Marika